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Virginia Grau

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Life is often heavy for me. Sometimes I just wonder if the eternal rest is more worthy than living as a constant warrior on earth.

Those are the moments when everything gets dark and  my  head  weighs way too much for me.

 

 

Sheila Rodríguez Castillo

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The moment when you’re feeling emptiness taking over your body, a never ending free fall. A tired woman, nervous, short-tempered under pressure of the abnormal and contradictory.

She’s lost any emotion, what is concrete, what is personal, what is real - everything reduced into abstractions - isolated in a solitary moment of the self surrounded by a lake of oblivion.

A woman without past or future, prisoner of an instant that changes constantly. A woman who thinks she has lost herself but can’t really be certain, as she’s currently absent.

Ángel Castillo Perona

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During 2017 I experienced a strong anxiety crisis that came into my life all of a sudden. I have always been an anxious person but didn't know it until I started experiencing panic attacks and not sleeping at night. Something inside me had broken and it would not let me continue with my day to day. I remember days when, on my way back to work, I had to stop walking because I felt like I was out my own mind and my body, without knowing very well what was happening. Many times, I think that all this came after I had kidney colic that I suffered a few months before and that, because of the medication the doctors gave me, I began to have strange symptoms (side pain, blurred vision, etc.). These types of symptoms began to worry me in an exaggerated way and I ended up believing that I was still sick. When I was 100 percent guaranteed by the doctors that everything was fine, there was something inside me that started to crack and generate panic attacks that put me straight in the hands of a psychiatrist. I wanted to go back to being like I was before and stop suffering. Through therapy, we managed to understand what was happening to me: the trauma of the loss of my mother, came back in that year, mixed up with the crisis of the 40s. Fortunately, the panic attacks disappeared and the anxiety diminished. Putting myself in the hands of a psychiatrist was the way to face my mental state. Nothing was the same again but it did start a new path for me. I came out much more strengthened by living that horrible experience since I got to know myself a little better and I was able to face milder moments of anxiety, through meditation, sports and, above all, photography.

This photographic series does not talk about violence but about how I felt inside when I experienced strong anxiety. Something breaks inside of you and slaps you as I symbolically show in this series.

Talking to the models about what was trying to portrait with these series was also very therapeutic. No body was hurt and no photoshop was used to achive this effects (multiple exposure in camera).

 

Anxiety series. I portrait how I felt when suffering anxiety panic attacks back in 2017
Anxiety series. I portrait how I felt when suffering anxiety panic attacks back in 2017
Anxiety series. I portrait how I felt when suffering anxiety panic attacks back in 2017
Anxiety series. I portrait how I felt when suffering anxiety panic attacks back in 2017
Anxiety series. I portrait how I felt when suffering anxiety panic attacks back in 2017

Elvira Beljajeva

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There are people that transform our understanding of the world. Almost as if they send us to another planet, while taking off the pink sunglasses we are wearing.  You feel as if you are born again, but with a higher awareness now, with a more open consciousness. Almost as if someone teleported you into maturity. You just opened your eyes and you see it all, even if you don’t understand exactly what is it you are seeing.  You can’t understand how can something that you used to see before be so far away from the true reality.  It might even be a frightening view to a mind that is still young, naive, still wearing the pink glasses.  How to come to peace with what’s happening around? How to keep the light shining inside while trying to not suffocate in this new world that you are in now?  Can I truly rely on the next day, when there are wars around, epidemics, mind control and famine in all its forms? Could these all be planned actions?  Can the tribe trust its leader?  This is your new life now, in which you don’t trust in history books or online search engines, you don’t trust television and media. The hints that point to the truth, that you might discover, are hidden far beneath a thick layer of propaganda, gossips, falsified facts.  We are suffocating, while at the same time believing that you are giving us oxygen. Our faith is so strong that we are indifferent towards the truth, which is already hidden so far from us.  A new person is easily lost in this world of YOUR truth, but it’s also so scary to live without it.
Everything has a its price. My price is clear. I miss my home. I always do.
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I am Elvira. I am too shy to speak about myself, but not that shy to be honest with you, sharing my thoughts, fears, emotions and beliefs.

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