Nino

There are moments and unfortunately such moments occur quite often when you do not want to leave the room, do not want to leave the house, you do not want to get up in the morning or do not want to get up at all. You do not even know what you want, you have lost the appetite, you cannot enjoy favourite meals any more, and not because you control your weight (you are very far from that). There are also moments when you feel lonely in a room full of people, and not because you have nothing to say, or lack knowledge and education. And there are times when you convince those around you, friends, family, that you are well, that you enjoy life as much as everyone else, even though you know it is a "game", a farce. You know it should not be so, you also know that you can be better,  just it is not easy to do and explain and one should not rely on being understood. But what is most terrible, you do not have any strength to belive that you can become and feel better, you can not believe it. There is no easy explanation for what is happening to you, it is chaos, uncertainty, constant variability full of never-ending struggle, life with vague lines, colors, emotions, feelings, silent screams, tearful cries and dim light. Life goes on, though you are left with a feeling that you are stuck in the corner, you wish to leave, but you can't.