Stella Guan

I try to paint everything I feel, whether it be things that make me happy or sad. I have quickly learned that having Borderline Personality Disorder, there is no such thing as just happy, or just sad. It’s a cycle of extreme joy, and heart wrenching depression, all in maybe an hour. It’s not just missing someone or something, it’s being completely broken by having lost them or the memories. It’s not just being upset. It’s being so angry, that I start shaking. My work is a direct result of the emotions I cannot help but feel so strongly. It is debilitating, but painting makes it tolerable. The idea of being better seems so much more tangible, and controlling the fires in my chest seem so much more realistic. I paint about the things I miss, the future I want to have, the person I wish I was, the partner I hope I can be, the things that scare me, the things that hurt me, and the things that keep me up at night. 

 

 


 

 

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